


they stare at me while i stare at you

by ventusus



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: M/M, demiromantic tsukki, jealousy with a small side of angst, they're in their second year
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-12
Updated: 2015-11-12
Packaged: 2018-05-01 07:17:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,962
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5197148
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ventusus/pseuds/ventusus
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>And Tsukishima doesn’t get it. He doesn’t get why Yamaguchi needs to be validated by people who are, admittedly, cute but are of no actual importance. He doesn’t get why Yamaguchi doesn’t have admirers in the first place. He’s overly deserving of attention with his growing confidence and those endearing freckles scattered across the cheeks of his maturing face. Even though Tsukishima only realized it himself a mere few months ago, Yamaguchi is a cool person. <i>Why doesn’t anyone else notice?</i></p>
<p>He regrets asking later when he realizes that people <i>have</i> started noticing.</p>
            </blockquote>





	they stare at me while i stare at you

**Author's Note:**

> let me start off by saying that i started this fic months ago and left it unfinished for a good while until about four days ago when i said to myself, "hey, why not finish that one fic for 11/12 while simultaneously working on your other fic?" and here we are. it wasn't supposed to be this length, but it kept growing and growing as i went. also, i've been very sick with a cold while finishing and editing this, so if there's anything glaringly off... yikes. sorry! i did as best as i could in this sickened state.
> 
> happy 11/12!!!

It’s a well-known fact that Tsukishima Kei has admirers.

Girls made their confessions known through home-baked desserts boxed elegantly, expensive chocolates only afforded by begging parents for the money, or cheesy poems written out on some cute-sy stationary paper. People go above and beyond to get his attention and, at times, the gifts come in bunches—especially on days following after volleyball matches.

However, despite the blatant effort poured into each and every gift, Tsukishima remains unimpressed and, of course, uninterested.

Not one of his admirers ever directly approach him. What a waste it is to try so hard to please when you’re going to just cower out in the end and have someone do the most difficult part for you. Not that a change would make Tsukishima think otherwise. He so obviously doesn’t care for the gifts or the meanings behind them, and yet people keep trying. To be that special someone to ‘change his perspective’ is the fire keeping them going. It’s pathetic, really.

And Yamaguchi is the one on the front lines of it all. Known for his kind-heartedness and unwavering loyalty to Tsukishima, admirers latch onto him as their lifeline to the blonde, shoving their gifts into his hands for delivery and even asking for advice or what he thinks their chances with his best friend are. Yamaguchi deals with it all patiently, sympathetically and tries his best to help them without hurting their feelings or making things even more annoying for Tsukishima by giving them false hope.

Though Yamaguchi is delighted to make things easier for him, Tsukishima doesn’t miss the disappointment and envy weighing him down with each gift piled up in his arms meant for his best friend. It’s not the bitter kind of jealousy, but the admirable kind where he’s comparing himself to Tsukishima again and wishing he were just as cool and skilled.

And Tsukishima doesn’t get it. He doesn’t get why Yamaguchi needs to be validated by people who are, admittedly, cute but are of no actual importance. He doesn’t get why Yamaguchi doesn’t have admirers in the first place. He’s overly deserving of attention with his growing confidence and those endearing freckles scattered across the cheeks of his maturing face. Even though Tsukishima only realized it himself a mere few months ago, Yamaguchi is a cool person. _Why doesn’t anyone else notice_?

He regrets asking later when he realizes that people _have_ started noticing.

* * *

Realization comes in the form of timid girl who hides her blushing face by ducking her head down and refusing to make eye contact with him as she approaches. She’s nervously clutching a cutely wrapped bag of, assumably, home-baked cookies with a note attached.

Tsukishima sighs heavily through his nose because he already knows what’s coming and _oh great_ another admirer. At least this one’s brave enough to approach him, he dully notes.

“E-Excuse me,” She stutters, looking everywhere but at him, “U-Um. I was w-w-wondering if you c-could give this to Y-Yamaguchi-kun?” She lifts the small bag of cookies towards him, the plastic wrapping rattling in her trembling hands.

Tsukishima is stunned into silence, unsure of how to react.

On one hand, it’s a relief because he doesn’t have to deal with another admirer and a direct one at that. But on the other hand, it’s for Yamaguchi and that makes him feel… irrationally annoyed. Maybe it’s because _he’s_ playing messenger now and it’s oddly demeaning. He knows his best friend will be ecstatic getting his first admirer and that should be enough for Tsukishima even if he doesn’t quite understand the importance of it, but something just isn’t sitting right.

Narrowing his honey-colored eyes, Tsukishima stares down at her critically. “This isn’t a joke, _right_?”

The girl squirms under his cold gaze and nearly flinches at the hidden threat in his tone. Tsukishima is surprised she hasn’t bursted into tears yet. “N-N-No! I’d never!” She shakes her head furiously, her hair whipping around. “It’s j-just—Yamaguchi has been doing really well wi-with volleyball and he’s a very n-nice person and—and he’s c-cute and—"

He puts up his hand, signaling her to shut up because _god_ he doesn’t want to listen to this shallow mush when he knows better than anyone of the qualities Yamaguchi carries. Snatching the gift from her, he holds it with one hand away from him as if it were contaminated, and throws an annoyed glare at her before taking off.

Tsukishima barely registers the squeak that comes out of her from far behind his back that sounded like a ‘thank you!’ and purposely doesn’t seek Yamaguchi out because like hell is he going to play the ‘messenger boy’ part. He’s more dignified than that. Yamaguchi will get his gift whenever they cross paths.

It doesn’t take long for that to happen because they’re _always_ together.

Yamaguchi’s eyes light up when Tsukishima enters the club room. “Tsukki!” He calls loudly as he’s in the middle of pulling his shirt over his head and, in all of his excitement, gets stuck.

The taller boy sighs in exasperation—though there’s a hint of fondness laced within it that can only be picked up on if one knew him well enough—and carelessly tosses the bag of cookies on the floor to asses the mess of whining and futile wriggling around that is his best friend.

“Stay still,” He advises sternly and, of course, Yamaguchi obliges immediately. He tugs the shirt around a bit until Yamaguchi’s head finally pops out of the neck hole.

“Thanks, Tsukki!” He chirps, hair in disarray and smile wide.

Tsukishima begins buttoning down his shirt, turning away from Yamaguchi. “How did you even manage to get stuck? Are you a toddler?” He slips out of his shirt and folds it over neatly. “Maybe you’ve just been hanging out with Hinata too much.”

Yamaguchi only offers a sheepish smile before crouching down to fix his shoe laces. It’s then that he spots the bag of cookies laying forgotten on the floor. “Oh. You got another admirer today?”

“No,” The blonde says pulling his practice t-shirt over his head much more smoothly than Yamaguchi had with his. “It’s for you.”

“Eh?” He glances back and forth between his best friend and the cookies, surprise and confusion written on his face. “You got them for me? But it’s not my birthday or anything…”

“Not from me,” Tsukishima quickly corrects, face suddenly feeling warm at the thought of him giving Yamaguchi such a thing. It’s weird and it pisses him off. “Some girl. I didn’t bother to ask her name.”

With caution, Yamaguchi takes the sweets into his hands and examines them in uncertainty. “Are you sure they’re not yours?”

“Yamaguchi, you’re name is written on the attached note.”

“I-I see that, but—What if she just meant for it to come to me so I could give it to you?”

Tsukishima pauses from digging through his bag for his sports goggles to stare at Yamaguchi. “Do you even hear yourself?”

A flush blossoms on the brunette’s face as he feels embarrassment. “B-But I—You—“

“Why would she come up to me, ask _me_ to give _you_ a gift thats meant for _you_ , only for it to end up coming back to me?” This is a display of Yamaguchi’s lack of self-confidence at it’s finest, and, honestly, it grates on Tsukishima’s nerves. Even with all of the growth he’s been going through, Yamaguchi still can’t seem to believe anyone would find interest in him. Why is he so blind?

“Right. Sorry, Tsukki.” He doesn’t sound convinced in the least bit.

Watching Yamaguchi, Tsukishima can see the ever-remaining doubt written on his face as he continues to observe the gift in his hands, fiddling with the note thoughtfully. “A joke then?” He offers after a moment’s silence.

This one offends Tsukishima. As if he’s dense enough to let a joke get by him. He had even made sure of it by directly asking if it was a joke. He says that all in one pointed look aimed at the insecure boy who shrinks shamefully when their gazes lock.

“S-Sorry!”

Tsukishima returns to his previous task and pulls out his sports goggles, busying himself with the process of switching out his glasses and slipping the goggles on as he prepares himself for what he’s going to say next—as in, trying not to sound _completely_ disgusted to prevent knocking Yamaguchi down further. “She said you were cute, amongst other things.”

Yamaguchi perks up, taking the bait his friend had laid out to subtly end his wallowing. “Sh-She did?! What else did she say?”

“Spare me the trouble of repeating it and read the note. I’m sure it’s more or less the same.”

With jittery fingers, Yamaguchi detaches the note from the bag and unfolds it. Eager eyes scan the pink stationary paper as a bashful smile slowly creeps onto his face. “It’s real,” He says in amazed awe, eyes wide and face tinted pink. Suddenly, as if just registering his own words, he jumps to his feet excitedly and nearly shoves the note in Tsukishima’s face because he just _has_ to see it. “It’s _real_ , Tsukki!”

“Don’t do that.” He lightly swats Yamaguchi’s hand out of his face, furrowing his eyebrows. “And I told you it was. Multiple times.”

“Sorry, Tsukki! It’s just different when I actually see it for myself!”

A roll of his eyes and with that, Tsukishima is over the conversation. Yamaguchi had finally gotten what he’s been wanting, therefore he’s not going to immerse himself further. It’s still a frivolous matter in his mind.

“Oh my gosh,” Yamaguchi’s distressed voice breaks through his thoughts. “How do I respond?!”

Of course, being Yamaguchi’s best friend, he can’t escape the discussion just yet. He should’ve figured.

“You don’t.”

“What?! But that’s mean!”

Tsukishima shrugs. “That’s usually how I go about things.”

“But _you’re_ never interested and I’m—W-Well, I…” Yamaguchi shyly lowers his gaze to the note clutched in his hands.

Turning to face Yamaguchi again, Tsukishima, suddenly feeling very interested in the topic, raises an eyebrow and waits for him to continue.

“I-I think…” Yamaguchi pauses, and Tsukishima can just see something click in his mind. All meekness melts away and Yamaguchi lifts his head high and pinches his eyebrows together, freckled cheeks colored red like strawberries. “I think it’s worth exploring!”

There’s _that_ look in Yamaguchi’s eyes. The one where he sheds any uncertainties or insecurities and just _goes_ for it. The one that ignites when he’s hitting a jump float serve or when he refuses to let Tsukishima stay behind and seethe in his own stubbornness. The one when he shines his brightest and will not let anything stop him.

The one Tsukishima often finds himself unable to look away from as it draws him in and, feeling the swell of pride, keeps him wondering what Yamaguchi will accomplish next.

But not this time. Not when it’s something like this, when it’s for someone else.

Something twists in Tsukishima’s chest. It’s a familiar ache; one he concealed behind apathy and a sharp tongue in hopes he’d never have to feel it again. With it’s return, he turns sour and the words are out before he realizes. “You don’t even know this girl. Are you so desperate for attention you’ll go to the first airhead who will offer the slightest bit to you? That’s pathetic.”

Yamaguchi’s breath hitches and his confidence crumbles, returning to averted eyes and hunched shoulders. Tsukishima hates himself.

“I’m not desperate,” Yamaguchi says quietly. “Attention is nice sometimes and… I-I don’t think it’s wrong to want it now and then…” The ‘ _especially when you don’t receive it often’_ goes unsaid, but Tsukishima knows.

Looking away, Tsukishima adjusts his goggles. “If you want to deal with the trouble, then go ahead. It’s your choice. Don’t expect me to get caught up in something so stupid along with you though.”

He doesn’t give Yamaguchi the opportunity to reply before turning his back to him and slipping out of the club room without another word, leaving behind a puzzled and hurt Yamaguchi. 

* * *

Tsukishima doesn’t hear about it anymore after that.

At least, not directly from Yamaguchi. There had been some buzz going on about it around the volleyball club. Noya and Tanaka would loudly proclaim how proud they were of Yamaguchi and pester him for details about his admirer while the first years would flock around him wearing expressions of excited wonder as if Yamaguchi was about to tell an enchanting bedtime fairy tail.

Unable to tolerate the senseless discussion, Tsukishima would go as far as practicing his blocking with the freak duo’s quicks to get away from it. The King and Shrimp had been far too immersed in volleyball to catch wind of the news and, while their obnoxious stupidity was excruciatingly annoying, their ignorance was welcome for a change. _Only_ under these circumstances.

Tsukishima would always feel Yamaguchi’s nervous stare on him from across the gym. Rather than meet Yamaguchi’s gaze, Tsukishima would watch from the corner of his eye as Yamaguchi would turn his attention back to his nosey teammates and shake his head, signaling that he didn’t want the conversation to go on.

It’s perfectly fine that, for once, Yamaguchi won’t talk to or around him about something. This is what he asked for, after all. He doesn’t need to hear, doesn’t want to know the annoying details of whatever transpired between Yamaguchi and that girl. As for himself and Yamaguchi, nothing’s changed between them. The disagreement they had in the club room that day had blown over quickly. It wasn’t a big deal, really.

Except it is _now_ because it’s not just that one girl.

Two girls from Aoba Johsai had pulled Yamaguchi aside—away from Tsukishima—after a practice a match one day at Seijou, explaining that they’d been there those two games last year where Yamaguchi had failed to perform a successful serve and when he heroically wracked up multiple points for his team in the prelims. They gushed over his amazing improvement, telling him of how they’d ended up cheering for him instead of their own team.

Seeing the blush blossom over Yamaguchi’s cheeks and the bashfulness of his smile at their praise had ignited a feeling within Tsukishima that he’d never thought he’d experience. He wouldn’t even think the word to himself. It was ugly, pathetic, and beneath him. He buried himself in denial, biting the inside of his cheek as he had practically stormed off to the bus, unwilling to listen to the conversation anymore when they’d began exchanging phone numbers.

Tension has been high between them ever since.

Tsukishima, tangled up in a mess of new emotions, is more irritable and snappy than normal. He’s gradually spending less and less time with Yamaguchi. When they do hang out, Yamguchi’s phone is always going off with text messages or snapchats from the Aoba Johsai girls accompanied by a string of amused giggles from him. If not that, then the girl who had confessed to Yamaguchi makes an appearance. She can feel the animosity towards her radiating off of Tsukishima and tries to excuse herself, Yamaguchi, however, insists she stays. Tsukishima doesn’t hang around for long after that.

He ignores all of the concerned gazes Yamaguchi aims his way when he thinks he’s not paying attention. It reminds him of the weeks leading up to the Tokyo training camp where Yamaguchi had blown up on him, fed up with the half-assed way he had been going about things. There will be another confrontation, Tsukishima’s sure of it. He’s not sure if a passionate pep talk from Yamaguchi will fix him this time, though. Things have gotten a lot more complicated than playing volleyball.

Yamaguchi’s hurting, Tsukishima knows. The guilt eats away at him, but their distance is for the best. Tsukishima’s recent frustrations have lead to lashing out and Yamaguchi doesn’t deserve to be on the receiving end. Besides, he needs to ~~hide~~ sort out these strange feelings before they can go back to their usual way.

Or, at least, that’s the excuse he keeps telling himself as he continues to push away the emotions and Yamaguchi. 

* * *

Nothing gets solved.

If anything, things have gotten worse.

On a night where Tsukishima, instead of bolting without a word, actually chooses to walk home with Yamaguchi after practice, Yamaguchi has had enough.

The music pouring into Tsukishima’s ears is abruptly interrupted as he feels his headphones being pulled down to sit around his neck. The sudden disruption nudges at his pent up agitation and he comes to a stop, turning to Yamaguchi, who averts his eyes as he also halts and retracts his hands from Tsukishima’s headphones.

“What?” Tsukishima snaps, though he already just _knows_ where this is going.

Yamaguchi doesn’t even flinch at his irritated tone, as if he expected it. “You never used to use your headphones when we walked together before.”

“Is that really why you stopped me? To point out the obvious?” Tsukishima scoffs. He’s feigning ignorance, sidestepping the point, when he’s very well aware of the wall between the two of them that Yamaguchi is referring to. He’s the one who built it with his own hands, after all.

“You feel so far away,” Yamaguchi’s voice is so quiet, Tsukishima almost misses it over the sound of leaves rustling in the breeze.

“I’m right here,” Tsukishima says simply.

“That’s not what I mean.” Yamaguchi’s gaze snaps to Tsukishima’s. “You _know_ what I mean, Tsukki.”

“No, I don’t,” Tsukishima lies, unwaveringly staring him straight in the eyes.

Yamaguchi’s face twists into something pained and Tsukishima swears he can hear the _crack!_ from the dam holding back the mass of his best friend’s feelings. It’s going to break at this rate and they’ll both be swept away in the rush. Tsukishima feels antsy with apprehension. It’s not something he’s ready to face. Not yet.

He begins walking forward down their usual route home again. Avoiding, avoiding, avoiding. “Hurry up. It’s getting late.”

But there’s only his own footsteps echoing against the concrete of the empty street. He doesn’t bother to look back at Yamaguchi. He was told to come along and if he chooses not to, it’s on him.

But as he goes on by himself, the lack of Yamaguchi’s presence starts to gnaw at him. He’s gotten used to not being around him so much these days, but he’s never flat out walked away from him while he looks so… upset. He wants to turn around and make it all okay again, but he just _can’t_.

He reaches for his headphones, itching to block it all out with his loud music.

“ _Tsukki!_ ”

His hands freeze mid-reach, steps coming to an abrupt pause. Looking over his shoulder, he sees Yamaguchi, eyes ablaze with fierce determination, quickly closing the distance between them.

Tsukishima can do nothing but stand there like a deer caught in headlights.

“What’s going on with you?” Yamaguchi demands, fists clenched at his sides as he reaches Tsukishima. “With _us_?”

Recovering from his stupor, Tsukishima shrugs. “Things change.”

“Bull _shit_!”

That throws Tsukishima off for a moment. Yamaguchi rarely swears, let alone swears _at_ him. He straightens his back to stand at his full height, narrowing his eyes down at Yamaguchi in hopes of intimidating him into his usual docile self so he’d back off. “What do you want to hear from me, Yamaguchi? That I’m mad at you? That I’m sick of you? You’re quite the sadist, aren’t you?”

Yamaguchi doesn’t back down, defiantly staring back up at him. “Quit it, Tsukki. I just want the truth.”

“I already told—”

“A friendship like ours doesn’t ‘just change’ for no good reason,” He argues, shaking his head. “There has to be _something_. I mean, you’ve been acting weird ever since that day in the clubroom when you gave me—”

“That was nothing,” Tsukishima answers quickly— _too_ quickly. He’s losing his cool. He needs to collect himself before he screws up. “We already moved past it, so there’s no point bringing it up again.”

Yamaguchi tilts his head in question. Shit. He must’ve noticed the minor slip up. “Did we _really_?”

Tsukishima sighs in exasperation. “Yes, Yamaguchi. We did.”

He squints, looking unconvinced. “So this has absolutely nothing to do with your hate for Ayame?”

“Who?”

“Ayame,” He repeats, as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world. “The girl who confessed to me.”

Tsukishima hadn’t even known her name up until now. The mere mention of her, being able to put a name to her presence, causes his anger to flare. He scowls. The words are driven out of his mouth by his feelings. “Of _course_ you’d bring her up. Everything, including us, has to be about her now.”

He stills, anger melting into shock at his own slip of the tongue. Yamaguchi is in a similar state, staring wide eyed at him and even looking a little guilty. Silence sits heavily between them.

To say Tsukishima is feeling regretful and humiliated is an understatement. He had almost gotten through the conversation without having to deal with his own feelings, but because of his mistake, they’re being brought to the forefront. He can’t think of a way to cover up smoothly and there’s no way Yamaguchi is going to let it go.

He feels exposed and it puts him on edge.

“Tsukki,” Yamaguchi starts, blinking slowly. “Are you—”

“ _No_ ,” He cuts in, unwilling to listen the word he’s been dreading to hear. He’s beginning to panic, going on the defensive. “I don’t care about _her_. I don’t care about _whatever_ you two have going on. I don’t care about those Aoba Johsai girls or the way they make you laugh. I don’t care about that stupid look on your face when they praise you. _I don’t care_.”

It’s become aware to him that he’s not only trying to convince Yamaguchi, he’s also trying to convince himself. Unfortunately for him, he’s dug himself into a deeper hole with no way out.

His stomach sinks at the look of realization on Yamaguchi’s face.

“Tsukki,” He calls again, more softly this time.

No, no, this can’t be happening. Not now. Not yet.

Tsukishima braces himself, heart pounding so loudly against his chest. He worries Yamaguchi can hear it.

“You’re jealous, aren’t you?”

Ah. There’s the word. _Jealous_. A word he’d never associate with himself. He’s never been jealous of anyone before. Never wanted to be someone else, never wanted what somebody else had. He’s always been content and confident with what he has in life. He’s experienced other people being jealous of him. His height, his intelligence, his shoes, even. Simplistic things. He always thought it was pitiful.

He’s not jealous _of_ Yamaguchi and it’s not simplistic in the slightest.

It’s just… thinking of Yamaguchi being with someone else, thinking of him being intimate with, fretting over, being close to someone else—someone who _isn’t him_ —makes him feel sick. It’s been just the two of them for so long and he refuses to let anyone get in between them. He wants to be the center of Yamaguchi’s attention, wants to be the one to hold his hand through all his hardships, wants to experience all of his firsts with him.

This jealousy, this longing… it all means something, doesn’t it? Something foreign and new. It’s what he’s been avoiding to admit to himself all this time.

Tsukishima likes Yamaguchi. _Like_ , likes him.

It’s a startling discovery. He’s never liked anyone like that before. He rarely ever likes people in general. There’s never even been the slightest interest in anyone beyond companionship. Honestly speaking, he hasn’t thought much about it until recently when all these thoughts about Yamaguchi invaded his mind.

He’s blindsided, unprepared, doesn’t know how to tackle it rationally. Not having an idea of what to do about something makes him uneasy, but it’s Yamaguchi, familiar and comforting Yamaguchi, so he doesn’t mind too much.

The only problem is, he doesn’t know where Yamaguchi stands on this whole thing.

Yamaguchi cares about him, adores him even. There’s no doubt about that. Whether it’s on the same level as Tsukishima’s feelings is where the uncertainty lays. The possibilities of him not returning Tsukishima’s feelings and being involved with someone else are high.

Heartbreak is a scary thing to think about.

“You’ve been working hard for a long time. The attention you’re getting is to be expected,” Tsukishima answers carefully after being quiet for a while, still tip-toeing around the subject. “You’re finally getting the recognition you’ve been wanting. I wouldn’t have a problem with that.”

And he means it, however upset he may get over Yamaguchi being with other people. He had wanted this for his best friend, after all. As long as Yamaguchi is happy, he’ll figure out a way to deal with his own problem.

Yamaguchi searches his face with curious eyes. Tsukishima holds his breath. “You know, Tsukki,” He says following a moment of thoughtful silence, “I’m not involved with anyone.”

Tsukishima raises an eyebrow. “Oh?”

“I tried with Ayame, but I.. couldn’t invest myself in it.” He shifts his gaze to the ground. “Not when my heart’s with someone else.”

Tsukishima licks his dry lips and swallows thickly. “And that’s…?”

Yamaguchi fidgets with the hem of his shirt. “I’m really going out on a limb here because this is all just speculation and wishful thinking. If I’m wrong, god, this is going to be a huge mess. But if I’m right, you’re not going to be the one to say it first, so...”

This is where Tsukishima Kei dies. His pulse has skyrocketed. He’s nauseous from the anticipation. His stomach is flipping and flopping all over the place. His knees feel like jello. He can’t think properly. He’s going to die. Oh god, he’s going to die before Yamaguchi tells him what he’s aching to hear.

“I like you,” Tsukishima blurts out, fueled by his impatience and internal melt down.

“H-Huh?!” Yamaguchi squeaks in surprise with flushed cheeks and hopeful eyes. “You do?! Like… _Like_ , like?”

Tsukishima nods firmly, feeling the warmth of his own blush.

“Tsukki!” Yamaguchi practically gushes, wearing the most radiant smile Tsukishima has seen from him yet in all their years together. “I like you too!”

Four simple words have never made Tsukishima feel so good. All of the tension leaves his body. He practically deflates with the missing weight of his most pressing worries. It’s a relief, to say the least. He tilts his head back, letting out a deep exhale through his mouth.

Yamaguchi chuckles in amusement. “Were you stressing or something?”

“You have no idea,” He replies, adding a pained tone for comedic affect just to hear Yamaguchi laugh again. When Yamaguchi lets out a string of giggles, Tsukishima feels something warm emit within in his chest. If this is what being mutually in like with someone always feels like, he could get used to it.

“This isn’t the way I pictured this night going. I knew I was going to confront you about what was going on. I was giving myself pep talks all day! But _this_? _You_ beating _me_ to a confession? Who’d have ever thought that?” He scratches his cheek, grinning. “Not that I’m complaining!”

Tsukishima hums in agreement. “Well, this is all really sudden. I mean, I _just_ realized how I feel about you about a minute ago.”

“Eh? Really?!”

“It’s a good thing you decided to ambush me with that stubborn will of yours.”

Yamaguchi laughs, rubbing the back of his head sheepishly. “I’m sure glad I didn’t back out!”

“Yamaguchi,” Tsukishima turns serious again. Yamaguchi tilts his head attentively in his adorable way. He adjusts his glasses, trying not to get distracted.  “About these past few weeks… I was a jackass, to put it lightly. I should’ve handled my feelings better instead of holding them all in. I’m… really bad at this kind of stuff.”

“It’s okay, Tsukki,” He replies sweetly without hesitation. “It’s something we’ll work on.”

The promise of ‘we’ and their future together pulls at Tsukishima’s heart strings. A faint smile appears on his face. “Right.”

“Oh, and Tsukki?”

“Hm?”

“The Aoba Johsai girls are just my friends. They’ve actually, uh, been giving me advice on what I should do about me and you.” He smiles shyly. “They suspected you were jealous, but I couldn’t believe it.”

Tsukishima’s eye twitches as he feels embarrassed about his ridiculous jealousy. He still hasn’t admitted it out loud and he’ll hold on to that for the sake of his pride. “Okay.”

“And about Ayame…” Yamaguchi continues, face pinching in worry when he notices the way Tsukishima’s body stiffens at the mention of her name again. “I only tested things out with her because I thought you’d never feel the same way about me and that moving on was the best way to deal with it. I had no idea you even liked boys.”

Tsukishima feels undoubtedly better now. However, he scrunches his face. “I didn’t say I like boys. I just like _you_.”

“I guess you’re Yamaguchi Tadashi-romantic then, hm?” Yamaguchi playfully nudges him with his elbow.

Tsukishima’s face heats up, frowning. “Shut up, _Tadashi_.”

Yamaguchi’s eyes widen for a brief second before his gaze softens, wearing a gentle smile. “Sorry, _Kei_.”

And just like that, they shift onto new grounds together. Yamaguchi tentatively holds out his hand and Tsukishima takes it, slipping his fingers between the spaces of Yamaguchi’s. As they walk their route home, Yamaguchi humming a tune and giddily swinging their linked hands, Tsukishima thinks of how there isn’t anyone more fitting for him than his own best friend.

**Author's Note:**

> instead of nitpicking at my own work and forcing you guys to read all about my issues with this fic, i'm gonna just say that i really hope you liked it!!
> 
> please come scream to me about tsukkiyama  
> [twitter](https://twitter.com/ventusus) / [tumblr](http://tsukisaur.tumblr.com/)


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